Little arms

There are some images that you don’t know just how much you adore them, until you’re going back through your library lazily scanning your images. I found this shot from the Cheyenne Mountain Zoo of a mother orangutan and her baby. I love the detail in her coat, and the little arms. This was of course taken behind a glass wall so I had a nasty reflection to deal with, dirt from the glass itself, and of course the fog. I hate glass fog. I ran it though photoshop and I feel the end result is quite nice. I hope you enjoy it as well.

Is it over yet?

I know it’s been almost three months, but thank you for your comments Nicole and Ash. I feel the same way you do Nicole. I do feel like every one there is an artist (or at least trying to be), and I can’t see my photography as being art. All I did after all, was point a camera at something I found interesting, and pushed the button. Now of course I know there is much more to photography then this. I don’t want to discount the very thing I’m striving to become. In class we studied some amazing photographers, and they are make me really excited. They inspire me to take off my lens cap, and get out and shoot. They make me want to be better. I have a problem however. I can’t get over myself. I can’t accept the fact that I mat actually be a good photographer. I had a big problem showing my work in class unless I was certain it would go over well, and everyone would like them. That was my problem in my last post. I didn’t end up taking any risks. I shot for my class, and for my teacher. I gave them photos that I knew they would like. Now there really isn’t anything wrong with this. If I go pro, then that will be my job. Giving the client what they want… right? I have a feeling that’s wrong though. As Nicole said, we need to come into our own style. Those little things that make us stand out from the ocean of photographers are what define us. They may be the difference between getting the job or not. I don’t think I have a style, and as such, I just don’t feel like a photographer. I just feel like another guy with a DSLR

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Ok, enough being down on myself. Yes, I am very self critical, and I know I need to ease up a bit. I did it in my photoshop class as well, and I felt very confident with that subject. So, I’m taking a break from the photography program. I am going to take a few workshops this semester in hopes of rediscovering my love of photography. This last class just stressed me out to the point where I would only take my camera out to complete an assignment. I want to go back to the point where I WANT to use my camera every day. My little boy needs more pictures taken of him darn it. I will also be making my second attempt at project 365 next year. My goal is to discover my own style and to learn not care whether you like my picture or not, because it doesn’t matter. I wonder if I will ever reach that point. Confidence is not easy obtained.

BTW, in two weeks my sister in law and I have a paying job doing some family portraits. It’s really her job, and I’m shooting as a second. I’m worried, I don’t feel ready, and I really know nothing about this kind of thing. So I’m thinking this is going to be the best thing for me. After all, what fun is life if you don’t do something that scares you every once in a while.

Thoughts On School

An interesting thing happens when you start taking pictures for a grade rather then just for fun. You really began to overthink everything. But you I of course mean me. This has always been my problem when it comes to anything art related. Sadly my biggest thought is always "will everyone else like it?". Second to that is "will my instructor like it?". I really enjoy my instructors work as she has shared quite a bit of it with us. She is also a Canon shooter, dislikes most HDR's, and loves her 50mm 1.8. We get along quite well. The first day we shot in class though, she did something that has haunted me in every project we've done. She used my random shots from campus as an example, and said "These are really good, why are you taking my class?". Now this is quite a compliment. Especially considering the subjects were duct work, wood piles, and this pine cone surrounded by bird feathers. I actually liked that shot, I'll post it on the blog later on. No the part that haunts me is all in my mind of course, but I feel now like she expects more out of me; that when my photostream is placed on display she wants to see something great. I have a feeling this was not her intention, but regardless I feel as though I need to do outdo myself. I know, I'm crazy, I am a wreck, and I read into everything so deeply I can't even remember where things even begun. A couple weeks ago our assignment was Motion and Depth of Field. I had some fantastic ideas that I believe would have wowed everyone, but I talked myself out of them and went safe. Safe and quite boring in fact. Why did I talk myself out of something I thought would be great? Fear. I was scared that it wouldn't come out the way I wanted, that I wouldn't have the "wow" factor, and that I would be ripped apart during critique. Let's not for a moment pretend like anyone is ripped apart, everyone is actually very nice, and all feedback is quite helpful.Anyway, a lot of people took pictures of water, and almost every water photo was blurry, or the highlight was completely blown out. Our next assignment was focal length. This was simply taking the same picture a number of times with different focal lengths. Very simple. The hard part was making each shot stand on it's own. I love shooting water, and I know how to shoot water. So I went to the South Platte River trail and grabbed my shots. Why did I shoot water for this assignment? Because I wanted to hear her say "this is how you shoot water." It was petty, and honestly the shots were very safe. I got what I wanted though. She said those words just as I pictured it. Even further, everyone loved my shoots. It was a small victory for my own fragile ego, though I'm conflicted by it. I didn't learn anything. I feel silly in a way for going the route I did, just because I knew it would be good. I wanted to be an example, and stand out, even though I don't like standing out at all. I stayed in my comfort zone and simply gave the people what they wanted. I know that if I want to progress as an artist, as a photographer, I need to be daring. I need to try something I've never done before, and I need to fail so I can learn from my mistakes. How do I do that though? How do I not play to the crowd?  Or am I just once again giving into my own misguided thoughts. This was much more personal then I anticipated it being. Something that is outside my comfort zone, something daring (for me), yet something that I needed to get off my chest. When I read over what I wrote though, I think the biggest issue may just be that there isn't an issue at all. The picture above is the one the class liked the most. I wish I had some kind of sky, but for the most part I do enjoy the shot.

Midway

My attempt to do something a little bit different, and get a little artsy with a photo I took at midway in Yellowstone. After going through all my Yellowstone shots I have concluded that I need better lenses. I'm just not getting the sharpness and lines in these landscape shots that I want from the kit lens. But I wouldn't would I. Maybe I just need to quit comparing myself to everyone else, and love the work I'm producing. What fun would that be though? All that aside, I really like this shot.